Dentist

This week the kids including the big one (hubby) had visits to the dentist.  The children go to a pediatric dentist that they like very much.  JD is too big to play in the play house in the waiting room but Amanda can still play.  Long ago I realized that of all the kids who are ever in the waiting room, my children tend to be the loudest.  Or to clarify Amanda is the loudest and she tends to draw other kids into whatever she is pretending.  She loves playing the the play house though this is probably the last year for her to do so.  A fairly quiet waiting room can get noisy when my daughter is around.  I may be a bad mom but it doesn't bother me.  No one has ever said anything to me about the noise that she makes and I have known for sometime she the noisiest one there and I use to think it was just her personality and I admired her joy for life.  I realize it is also her way of dealing with the tension of going to see the dentist.  While their dentist is great with kids and set up to help make the stay very pleasant I know Amanda is nervous and I suspect JD is also nervous about their visits.  Amanda has had a difficult time finding toothpaste that she can stand the taste of.  She also has a lot of oral aversions and hates the X-rays.  So if she is a little loud while playing I don't mind.  JD just kind of goes with the flow.  He never complains.  I wish I could get him to open up more.
  Well Amanda made out great.  According to the dentist plague just slides off her teeth.  JD is not so lucky he didn't have any cavities but the dentist is worried about it because plague seems to stick to his teeth.  So he suggested an electric toothbrush.  We bought him a really cool one that lights up for 2 minutes so he can make sure he brushes long enough. Of course we had to buy Amanda an electric toothbrush too but she wanted an Arial one.
   Over all I was so proud of them they did very well and the new toothbrushes have helped encourage the kids to brush.
     As a footnote.. Daddy had to get a huge filling barely escaping a root canal.  I hope the kids do a better job taking care of their teeth.

Summer Camp 06/22/01

The kids have been in summer day camp for 3 days now and I have been having major guilt.  It was so bad yesterday that I actually had trouble sleeping.   When I picked JD up he was visibly upset. At least to me he was.  When he got in the car he said everything was fine but I knew it wasn’t so I stopped the car and asked it if was something I needed to go inside and deal with now or did he want to go home, calm down and then talk.  He didn’t want me to go in and I managed to get out of him that it wasn’t a problem with the councilors but a problem with the kids.  JD is a lot like me; he tends to sit back watch what is going on, kind of hanging on the fringe while getting the lay of the land.  So his second day he hadn’t made any real friends and some of the kids were ignoring him.  That wasn’t the worst of it at some point he was going to sit down and another kid came up and deliberately bumped into him knocking him down on the concrete.  None of the councilors saw it and he didn’t say or do anything.  This was a hard one for the kid; he didn’t know what to do and as a parent I just wanted fix the problem.  He shouldn’t have to deal with this stuff.  But I also know that this is something that he needs to develop some tools to deal with because while I hope it is the last time chances are it won’t be.  I suggested if it happens again that he should ask the kid calmly what the problem was.  He should be prepared for a negative response.  If he gets a negative response he should not try and argue with the boy.  He should just say something like that is strange I didn’t have a problem with you and walk away.  If it happens again he should tell the councilor.  Tell him something like my mom says I can’t hit or push him but he keeps doing this to me and I am not sure how to handle it.  Then see what the councilor does.  After we discussed this he felt a little better and we could discuss some of the positive things about camp.  We even discussed the differences between his and Amanda’s style of going into a new place and I emphasized that neither way was right or wrong just different.  Then I was up all night agonizing over if I had given him good advice or not.  Wondering what we would do as parents if this continued.   

Well this AM, JD was still nervous and we talked some more and I explained that I didn’t think the kid would do anything again that it was probably a 1 time occurrence.  Anyway when I picked JD up today he was much happier.  The kid didn’t bother him today.  Today the kid picked on a girl and got caught by the councilor.  The kid got into big trouble.  JD said he was making a few friends and he wants to go back.   I did mention the incident to one of the councilors so they could keep an eye on the situation.  I don’t know if that was right or wrong.  I did explain to her that I was trying to encourage JD to handle it in the way I said above and that he didn’t want to come back after it had happened. 

Amanda love camp, so I was worried about her for nothing.  But her style is different.  She goes in like a whirlwind.  By the end of the first day I am willing to bet everyone in her group knew her.  It is her way of dealing with new environments.  Amanda even recognizes this because she tells me that is how she copes.  It is her way of getting to know her environment.  If we take her anywhere she has to touch and explore everything.  I think part of that is the SPD.  She doesn’t like any surprises.   

Well for now the situation is calm.  I hope it stays that way; maybe my blood pressure will come down for a while.  I really wish there were instruction manuals for times like this.  

First week of Summer Break and everyone has survived

OK so the first week is done and we have all survived.  YEA us! There was a time I wasn’t sure we would.  It might have been the first day and the argument over the stale donut.  It might have been because if feels like I can’t take a restroom break some days without there being a major argument over something pointless (at least in my eyes).   I must give JD credit he has been trying not to argue with his sister so much.  I have let him know I appreciate it and I have noticed his efforts.  It is probably why the arguments are happening when I leave the room.  

Amanda, bless her heart, is going through a real period of anxiety.  She has started freaking out if JD leaves his door open while they are waiting for me to get in the car and start it.  I have taught JD since he was very young to leave a door open until I get the car started.  Only now he is listening to Amanda complain because there are bugs outside.  I am working to help her keep calm and enjoy summer but it is getting harder.  I really wish I knew what was going through her mind.  She has never been that afraid before and nothing that I know of has happened.  I think she may be having a hard time because they will be starting summer camp soon.

First day of Summer Vacation

Today is the first official day I am home with my children. I have been looking forward to this day for weeks dare I say months. Sometimes kids don't know how much teachers actually look forward to the summer time. This year my summer consists of 3 weeks of vacation and 5 weeks of "optional" trainings. The children will spend most of their time this summer at a summer day camp run by the city. While they know we are not talking about it until they start next week. Amanda would spend the entire week in manic mode if we discuss it too much. She was nervous about going to her after school program for an entire day for my workday and she has been at the same place for 4 years.

So for the first day did I do something momentous to celebrate.. Make homemade pancakes in Teddy bear shapes (and for you naysayers yes I have done this in the past)—plan a picnic at the park. Nah, they wanted to have the same breakfast they have every morning and it gets too hot to go to park. Today will be spent finding clothes Amanda will wear for the summer and trying to get JD to clean out his t-shirt draw because I can't fit anything more into it and I swear he has t-shirts in there since before he started school.

We have already broken the first barrier of summertime. How long would it take me to yell at my wonderful children? For those who thought I would go days guess what I didn't even make it through breakfast. The kids started arguing over day old donuts. Dad had told JD he could have only 1 of each kind and Amanda who hadn't been told that wanted dare I say it the second chocolate frosted donut. JD was upset about the injustice of it all, Amanda was confused because yes I said she could have a donut and I got upset because come on people they were arguing over a stale donut!! So I told them in a loud voice if they were going to argue over donuts they could spend the summer in their rooms because I wasn't going to spend my summer listening to arguing. I think I was the silliest of us all. I broke the first rule of punishment.. the referees rules my mom had given me when I first started teaching; Which was never threaten anything you don't intend on following through. It has been more years than I care to admit since she gave me the sign for the classroom and I would do well to remember them. I remember the gist of it which was don't set rules you do not plan on enforcing. Enforce the rules equally for everyone and don't threaten what you will not do. I wish I could find that poster now. I think I need to get back to the basics with my own children. Set clear expectations and clear consequences for not meeting expectations.

I am raising my children in the age of positive discipline and don't get me wrong I believe in positive discipline but I also believe in consequences for making choices. So should I become the referee for the summer or should I just reward the good stuff and ignore the bad stuff. I think a little of both. All actions have consequences sometimes it is positive and sometimes it is negative. That is just the way of life.

The 2010-11 school year is almost over-- considering state testing.

JD will be finishing the 3rd grade soon. I can't believe how big he is getting. It seems like yesterday he just started school. In kindergarten they were afraid he might fall behind in reading. In third grade he scored at the top of his class on the state reading assessment. It’s one of the reasons why I love state assessments so much. They are the same cookie cutter approach to education I can't stand! JD is more of a sight word reader. Phonics just doesn't seem to make much sense to him. He reads above grade level so what is the problem? The problem is that in kindergarten they tested him on letter sounds and in 3rd grade they test on reading ability. Poor kid I was convinced there was something wrong with him back then. I as a parent, and took him to make sure his hearing was ok; which it was. The I worried that he would hate reading and struggle with it.. that didn't happen he loves reading. I never thought I would have to tell him to close the book and watch where he was going.


JD did so well on this year’s state test they want to give him award at school.

He is doing well in other things. He is currently learning the guitar which he loves but hates to practice. This is such a sore point in our house I wonder why I keep pushing the issue. Part of me thinks he will thank me when he gets older.. I doubt it though. To be honest most things come so easy for him I want him to work at something and see progress. I think David thinks I am crazy. Maybe I am. Is it wrong to want your child to learn how to accomplish something that takes effort? Some people tell me he will find something he loves and then he will put the effort into it; they may be right and I may be wrong for pushing him to do something he doesn't want to do. I wish he came with instructions.



Amanda has also survived her first year at school. I have survived her first year as well. One of the hardest things was understanding her report card. You wouldn't think that it would be so difficult to understand a report card meant to let you know how a child is doing in kindergarten would be so difficult but it was. I got so fed up with trying to figure out if she was on target or not that I finally gave up and emailed the teacher to ask her if Amanda was on track. Guess what she was... If I, as a teacher, with a master’s degree in Education can't read a Kindergarten report card I wonder how other parents managed. As the school year, Amanda is getting more and more manic. She can't tell me what is going on and I suspect it is nerves about what is going to happen next year. I am afraid to bring it up because if it is something else then I don't want to add to the anxiety that seems to be fueling this manic stage. Just about anything sets her off. Today coming home she was in tears because I got permission for her to get a shirt signed the last day of school. JD has gotten a shirt signed every year he was in school. This morning Amanda said she wanted to do it.. So I emailed the teacher to find out if it was ok. Anyway she was upset because it would be permanent marker and she didn't want to make a permanent mark on her skin. We have had this conversation before and will probably have it again. I have explained that permanent would not stay on her skin forever. She insisted she was not going to do it. I said fine.. it was something for her and not for me so I really didn't care if she did it or not. By the time we got home she had changed her mind again and was going to do it.

I sometimes feel I am going insane because I really don't know how to deal with this. I keep plugging along and trying not to shield her from most of life’s experiences. I don't want the SPD to become a reason she can't succeed in life. It is a hurdle to overcome and figure out a way around but it should never become a something that blocks her path.