Getting Ready for School

Well I know it is early but because of Amanda's issues we have started school shopping early.  In part to catch some sales and in part because I didn't want to run into shortages if I found something.  Well we have Amanda's uniforms; something she will actually wear.  Yesterday was shoe shopping.. my dreaded activity.  The plan was to see if we could find a style of shoe Amanda would wear without all the fuss.  This trip was much better than the last one.. it would have to be because the last trip to the shoe store was what triggered the whole evaluation thing that got the SPD diagnosis.  Well both kids got shoes and Amanda actually wore her shoes out and we went to the play area and she had fun.  I was so happy to have found a pair of new play shoes and school shoes.
Jonathan was not happy he only got 1 pair of shoes.  We tried to explain to him that his shoes cost more than her two pair combined and he didn't need new play shoes.  But Jonathan decided to sulk for a while anyway.  He finally decided he had "punished" us enough and went and played all and all a good day.
Today, Amanda cried when she had to put her new shoes on.  She cried saying they hurt her feet.  I must admit I lost it.  Maybe I don't understand SPD yet but how can one pair of shoes be fine one day and hurt the next day.  She couldn't tell me where they hurt her.  I don't know if I can handle this, sometimes.  Anyway after my blow-up which I regret Amanda decided the shoes were fine.  I tried to talk to her and explain we could return the pair she hasn't worn if they hurt; that it was important that she had comfortable shoes for school.  But Amanda insists they are fine now.  I wonder sometimes if she just hates shoe shopping.  
I feel bad for Jonathan he is so easy going and so easy to shop for sometimes it seems like we focus on Amanda.  We can't eat certain places because she won't eat anything at one of his favorite restaurants.  Jonathan can be so good to his sister and then at times he seems to enjoy tormenting her. 
I was talking to a friend of mine and we decided that all kids should come with instruction books.  I buy a new car it comes with an instruction book but kids are all different and they don't have any instructions.  The so called experts give conflicting advise and it is more confusing than helpful at times.  In the past we didn't seem to have all these labels and I don't remember there being this many problems.